it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize