suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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