He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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