it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
