Got a toothbrush?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
