I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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