I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
