I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
