So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I supernannyed him into submission
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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