I didn't shave. On purpose
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
