READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
