your parents love me but you hate me
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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