What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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