your room smells of hookers.
And success
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
