You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
