Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Did you pee in the oven last night??
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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