Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
