Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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