Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
