My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
