Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
His nipple licking is glorious
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