Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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