she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
