I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
