I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
