i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
