Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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