At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
one two three fourrrrnication!
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
