She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
