god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
