Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He passed out mid-signature
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
