Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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