I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
