nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize