barbara walters just said penis...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize