Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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