Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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