i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
