We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just want to make out with him forever
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
