Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
This baby is an asshole
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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