Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
