I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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