Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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