Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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