Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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