She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
there is glitter all over my balls
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
