so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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