I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
