i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I puked a lego.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
You don't make any sense
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