I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Panties = found
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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