Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
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