I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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