Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
