I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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