Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
